I havn’t posted anything in a while. I have been struggling. I have taken on a new venture for Christ teaching workshops for our women locally and it has taken everything that I have and then some. The spiritual battle is so real and has overtaken me with illness again and again. As I sit here writing this, I struggle to concentrate as a wave of vertigo has overcome me. It has left me questioning what I am doing and if I am on the path the Lord wants me on. I believe it is, but it is leaving me weary and drug out.
Does anyone else feel this way? That the effort to do anything for the Lord has become the hardest of struggles. I feel worn out, isolated, alone, question every move I make, and even question the relationships of those around me. My life is taking big turns over the last few months and I feel that God is moving in big ways. The best phrase that I can come up with is “trial by fire”. What is this trial? The best I can see and asked God to show me is the proving of my dedication to serve God. What will I endure and continue to go through to let God refine me? I think of the potter and the clay.
I was once a hard chunk of clay. Dirty, stained, and down right ugly. Then comes the potter along and picks me up. He places his hands on me. He gives me water and a gentle hand. I start to change. The more I change the more he holds me up. Its painful at times. I have to let pieces of me go. I have to change how I stand, how I look, and how I hold myself together. No longer am I a chunk of dirt, but I am becoming something worth using. I am given a foundation to stand on to hold firm to, then comes the fire.
The fire starts slow at first, and then comes on heavy. Time and time again. The heat rises over and over and never seems to stop. As the fire comes, the old me and my old coping skills no longer are useful and I am looking and trusting the potter through the window. If I can keep my eyes on Him, he reassures me that it is not for nothing. The fire will soon fade and the vessel he has molded me into will be stronger and tougher than ever. I just have to keep my eyes on the potter. The look of all the promises are in his eyes. With each wave of heat comes another promise to hold onto. To make me stronger.
The promises I have learned lately…
Though people will come and go, God will not
The light always follows the darkness
The pain is all temporary
The struggle is making me stronger
There are strongholds to change in each of us
My life is more than my struggles
My relationship with God is most important
Knowing and understanding How God sees me, can and will sustain me.
So today, I am not going to look at my struggle as why is this happening, or what have I done. I want to look at it as a place of acceptance. I accept everything that comes my way, because I trust that the Lord has a reason and that reason has purpose and a goal for my life. He is showing me His promises are true. Tell me, through your struggles, what promises have you learned? What promised has the Lord shown you to be true?
Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you,as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.1Pe 4:12-13
In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace; Ephesians 1:7
Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory. Ephesians 1:14
Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us. Hebrews 9:12
Have you ever observed a child and watch them as they go through their toddler years? I think it would be safe to say, they are still immature and learning. They do not have an understanding of the world and how it works. They also have not been in this world long enough to learn about emotions, behavior, what is good and bad, right and wrong. Yet, they are born with this knowledge. We know they have something there, because you tell them no for the first time, and a fit like you have never seen before from this angelic creature comes out. That sweet bundle of joy, all of the sudden, expresses itself in a way that it was not taught to do. They were born with it. The more you observe your sweet angel they’re a perfect child as long as they are getting their own way. This is called selfishness. From here on out this will be an emotional battle this child will come against the rest of their life. This selfishness will drive them to make choices that will lead them down dark roads, broken relationships, unruly behavior and much more, unless they are taught otherwise. Where did this selfishness come from? How did it manifest itself without being taught? The answer is sin.
Everyone of us is born with a sinful heart. That sinful heart expresses itself as selfishness within our lives. We want things done our way, in our time frame, and it always leads down a wide dark road of destruction unless we are taught otherwise, or learn from others there is a better way. That selfishness that drives us, and that road of destruction we leave requires us too eventually be accountable for it. No, it isn’t our fault that we are born with it. No, it is not fair. No, we shouldn’t have to apologize for it. That line of thinking again is selfish. We are bound, enslaved, and trapped by it. We cannot get rid of it, but we can find a way to gain redemption from it. A way of redemption for this selfish nature we are born with.
I think we can all agree that there is a price, reconciliation, punishment, karma, etc. that must be paid in order to balance the scales of the sinful, selfish nature. Whatever the price, it must be the opposite of selfishness. It has to be honest, pure, loving, selfless, caring, without fault or blame of any wrong doing. I look at myself to find that price and there is no way I can reconcile that on my own. That selfish, sinful nature is a constant battle within me and there is nothing I have that will equal the value of pure to wipe my slate clean. A truth we can all stand on is that our wrong doings, our bad attituded, or selfish nature must be atoned for, before we can move forward in a life of light and forgiveness. Right? Do you see what I am talking about? There is always a payment to be made for wrong doing in this world. Selfishness classifies as wrong doing, because selfishness always motivates us to make choice and commit acts based on our own thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings change on a whim of our circumstances and is not a concrete foundation to build our lives and choices on. Yes, it is a constant battle within ourselves, but there is a way to overcome it!
When God says I have redemption, what he is saying is, “If you will accept my son as the sacrifice for your sinful nature, then I will pay the price for you.” What? Am I getting this right? God is offering to freely pay the ransom for my selfish soul, to release me from the bondage that sin placed on me when I was born. Not just release me from the debt I cannot pay myself, but to rescue me from what will come of me if I cannot pay that debt myself. You see, God took His son that was created perfect and without fault or blame, and offered him as the sacrifice for your selfish, sinful nature. He provided a way for us all, and He also gave us free choice to choose it.
When God looks as us, he sees us as a child with no way out of our sinful nature, He has mercy and compassion on us. He provided the only thing he loved most in this world so we could find redemption. As we accepted that free gift he offered and acknowledge Him for it, He sees us a pure, holy, without blame, spotless, clean, blessed, his heir, Loved, chosen, adopted, and most of all free! We are no longer bond by the chains of our sinful, selfish nature. We are set free from the punishment for it, and the ransom due. The possibilities for our lives then become endless and everlasting and even though we will still have that selfish nature rise to take over our choices within us, we will never be alone again to deal with it. We are free from the consequence, and have a Savior to look to for help and guidance.
If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. John 8:36
But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life.For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:22-23
Welcome back! This second part has thrown me for a loop inside my brain. As I struggle to put thoughts to words and ask God for His guidance and truth, the black and white theory of the world comes full circle. A parable written in 3 separate books of the bible keeps coming to mind and I just cannot move forward until I study on it. How does the black and white thinking theory come into play in the parable?
The Parable of the Sower breaks down the heart of four types of people. Let’s take a look at each person and how Jesus defined each experience they had when they heard the word of God. Each of these people have been presented with the Truth of Jesus and his sacrifice for their sins; but there are four outcomes that occur to give us some food for thought on what is black and white and what is not. In all of these the seed represents the word of God. For we must first hear before we can believe.
Mark 4:3-23 Hearken; Behold, there went out a sower to sow: And it came to pass, as he sowed, some fell by the way side, and the fowls of the air came and devoured it up. And some fell on stony ground, where it had not much earth; and immediately it sprang up, because it had no depth of earth: But when the sun was up, it was scorched; and because it had no root, it withered away. And some fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up, and choked it, and it yielded no fruit. And other fell on good ground, and did yield fruit that sprang up and increased; and brought forth, some thirty, and some sixty, and some an hundred. And he said unto them, He that hath ears to hear, let him hear. And when he was alone, they that were about him with the twelve asked of him the parable. And he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables: That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be converted, and their sins should be forgiven them. And he said unto them, Know ye not this parable? and how then will ye know all parables? The sower soweth the word. And these are they by the way side, where the word is sown; but when they have heard, Satan cometh immediately, and taketh away the word that was sown in their hearts. And these are they likewise which are sown on stony ground; who, when they have heard the word, immediately receive it with gladness; And have no root in themselves, and so endure but for a time: afterward, when affliction or persecution ariseth for the word’s sake, immediately they are offended. And these are they which are sown among thorns; such as hear the word, And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful. And these are they which are sown on good ground; such as hear the word, and receive it, and bring forth fruit, some thirtyfold, some sixty, and some an hundred.And he said unto them, Is a candle brought to be put under a bushel, or under a bed? and not to be set on a candlestick? For there is nothing hid, which shall not be manifested; neither was any thing kept secret, but that it should come abroad. If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.
Defined in this parable given by Jesus himself, are 4 types of people. I believe it is safe to say that in this world we live, Jesus is telling us there are 4 ways people will react when hearing the word of God.
This person was presented with the seed of Christ and did not understand. Satan came along and took whatever seed was there. Satan snatched it away before they could believe in it.
This second person was presented with the seed of Christ and received the message. With great joy he accepted. When affliction, persecution, trials, and temptations come along like the heat of the sun, the seed withered and they fell away and became tripped up.
This next person was presented with the seed of Christ and received the message. The thorns of the world and its riches and pleasures and the deceitfulness choked the word and it did not grow fruit.
Lastly, we have the person who was presented with the seed of Christ and received the message. His seed was planted within the field of an honest and pure heart that studied the word and kept it. It was of good ground and the seed of Christ could grow.
Each person heard the word of God. One did not believe. Three believed, but two of them were overcome with temptations and worldly desires. The two that were overcome did not bear no fruit. They let their desires of the flesh control their choices instead of turning to the word of God for guidance. (I believe this is also defined as the carnal Christian in the scriptures, that we will address in another blog). The last one not only took it to heart, but when those trials, temptations, and enticing pleasures of the world came about, they chose to battle it out and turn to the word and God for guidance. With that guidance they grew and developed fruit.
As you can see, the black and white theory does not necessarily fit in this parable that Jesus is describing. With four types of people only one is black, three are gray, and none of the are white until they reach complete righteousness in heaven. Why is that? Because, none of them are perfected and righteous until they stand before God (Hebrews 9:27). Their path to righteousness begins with belief, but it not made full until the appointed time. Just as the prodigal son. Two of these believers will pull away and be enticed with the ways of the world and the trials that come. They will look to themselves and others for guidance. They will direct their own path and find hardships. They have accepted Christ as God’s son, but they have yet to make him the Lord of their life. Maybe, at some point there will be a time when they will find their way back. Back to the truth, back to the belief and to the seed that was accepted before. This time, they will water and grow that seed and face the trials and temptations of this world without succumbing to them. They may grow fruit, but all at different quantities. This process is called sanctification.
The path to complete righteousness is called sanctification. It’s at the time from when a person accepts Christ as their Savior until they pass from this life and stand before God. I call this the gray area! When they stand before God their righteousness will be made whole (2 Timothy 4:8), then they will be white. During this time period from salvation to death, believers will grow and change, and lay up treasures in heaven. Everyone will be at a different level on this path. Based on their choices and decisions and the amount of growth they choose to have. On this path we must understand the obstacles that lay in our ways to divert us. I would not call them black and white obstacles. I would just call them like I read them in God’s word.
All three of these obstacles have been already introduced. Just because you accept Christ does not mean you won’t still be enticed and subjected to the ways of the world; there will be distractions and arrows the devil will sent your way.
Satan- Satan is constantly roaming seeking who he can devour. He is always around stealing seeds that are trying to be planted, laying traps, and doing everything he can to keep us from believing in God or bearing any fruit.
Affliction, persecution, trials and temptations- Our world is full of all sorts of burdens. Pressure to conform, criticism, struggles, and testing of our faith. When the time comes, we flounder and have no roots in God’s word to stand on. Instead of digging into Gods word for truth and answers we tend to get mad at God for not delivering us, or blame other Christians who lack knowledge and depth in God’s love and misrepresent what God stands for.
Worldly Riches, lust, desires of the flesh, pleasures of this world. The avoidance of fear, pain, and uncertainty because it’s just so hard. But also chasing after the desires of the flesh. Chasing those feel-good endorphins. Chasing activities and situations that cater to the flesh, instead of letting life come and go with the highs and lows. The lack of making sacrifices of the flesh to heed to the obedience of Christ.
Life is a battle. It is the battle between the flesh and the spirit (Ephesians 6:12). These 3 things are ways the devil will use the flesh to keep your spirit from maturing and growing deeper in the truths of God and His word. Wherever the spirit lies, the flesh with follow (Luke 6:45). The battle of this life and keeping the faith while growing deeper trust in the spirit is defined as sanctification. I Peter 1:1-9 lays it all out. The conclusion of part one brought back to conclude this blog as well.
1 Peter 1:1-9Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to the strangers scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia,Elect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through sanctification of the Spirit, unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ: Grace unto you, and peace, be multiplied.Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you,Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.
The development and skill to go through struggles and trials, while keeping your faith and trusting in Gods ultimate plan while praising God for it all! This is the path of sanctification. To stay the course, while keeping the faith. No matter what uncomfortable feelings or circumstances may come. It is truly a testing by fire. The growth, trust, and maturity of faith that come from it is so precious. Through all this God does not leave us alone. He is with us, He has given us his word to study and find solace, comfort, and guidance in it. He gives us the promise of an expected end and treasure to lay up in heaven for Gods glory. I pray this has brought clarity to you on the difference between justification and sanctification. I pray that you choose to grow deeper and cling to the promises of God as Satan and this world try to steer you away.
I also pray this has brought some clarity to black and white thinking. You see, Following God is a process of growth in ourselves as we have been reading. Being in the black is a person that has totally rejected God and refuses Him, they are born dead in their sin. Refuse to acknowledge their sinful nature, and turn their back on God. They live their life without thought to anything spiritual. The white is those believers who reach heaven and are presented to God. They no longer have anything to learn, gain, grow in. They have finished the course, and kept the faith. The gray! Hold onto your hats. The gray is those who believe in God, accepted those non-negotiable truths, and are continually growing in Christ. Now remember, we are all growing at different speeds. Some take a detour on the path in their growth, but ultimately God is in control, willing to help, be there, rescue us, forgive us, and guide us. Once we are in his hands, we are His and nothing can pluck us out. There is nothing we can do to be taken out of his hands. I believe black and white thinking keeps us on constant edge in fear and anxiety of being rejected by God for any false move we may make. Instead I choose to live in the gray area of grace. I may make mistakes, I may fall, I may crash from time to time, but my God sees me as a working progress. I believe that’s how we need to see ourselves.
Take a deep breath, take two. Now go out into this world, not as you are either black or white, good or bad. Go out with your head held high and walk in the gray where the grace of God abides.
1 Corinthians 6:12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10
Over the last several years I’ve had trouble feeling joy. You know that joy when you are just happy to be alive? The sun feels warmer, the sky is bluer, the bird’s song put a skip in your step kind of joy. So, one day not long ago I started seeking and praying to God for that opportunity to come my way. To make that path clear to me. I knew I needed to make changes in my life, but I wasn’t sure on which path to take. Then out of the blue I was struck with a physical ailment that left me, not overwhelmed, but at peace like I never knew. How could this be, how could this physical pain, that usually sends me into a panic attack for weeks on end, leave me with peace?
As I struggled through months of physical therapy and the doctors telling me it was just inflammation. I kept going back to the uneasy feeling that I had been struggling with since the previous fall. How do I feel whole, and where is my joy? Something was not adding up with where I was at in my life. I had my hands in so many things, pulling me in so many directions. At one point in time, it was where I needed to be. Yet, right now I knew a change needed to be made. I needed to do something but didn’t know what. Then the same words kept coming to me over and over again, “BE STILL”. What? This cant be! I don’t know how to be still and keep my sanity, my health in check, and my family taken care of! Over the next few months, it came to me again and again, “BE STILL”. Okay, I am going to work on being still.
From there I started slowing down. I cut back on somethings, but found myself digging deeper into others. The peace still did not come. I kept praying, “Lord, please show me and guide me with what you want me to do.” I tried different things, more ministry work and helping others, while still praying and the peace still did not come. Several months had went by and I found myself back in the doctor’s office still in pain. The message was stamped on my body that said, “BE STILL”. Wear and tear and too much use of my dominant, right arm left me in a state of having to slow down. So, from there I still kept pushing forward in prayer asking God to show me what I needed to do. The words, “BE STILL” kept coming to me over and over. This time I started slowing down a little more. I pulled back completely out of many things and concentrated on just a few. I poured my heart and soul into the few things. The peace and joy were getting a little better, but it was still not whole.
With my pain in my shoulder still not getting better, I went back to the doctor again and found that my shoulder was more than just swollen from overuse, but torn this whole time and the only way to help was surgery. As I sat in my car with tears in my eyes, I pleaded with God and asked Him, “what now?” This time I heard, “BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM YOUR GOD”. Well, I had the be still part started in my mind, and my physical body now was on board without my consent. The next step was to Know that God was my God! How did I do that? So, I started praying again, “Lord, how do I take steps to know, that you are my God?” Over the next few weeks, it became very clear how to know he is God. I had to give it all up! Everything! My hobbies, my business, my work with friends, my church jobs, my worship time, my family time, social media, my food schedule, my sleep schedule, my paint parties, my entire days. From the time I wake up until the time I laid my head down, I had to stop and do nothing but call on his name for my every step. To let him guide my time, my thoughts, my every moment.
You may be asking how I did it, well Gods grace put me into a position where I didn’t have a choice. With surgery on my shoulder of my dominant hand, I could do nothing! Nothing! I sat, and sat, and sat. I had to give it all up and completely rest. What I found was exactly what I needed to be still and know who my God is and what he could do for me. I found rest and peace like no other. I had permission to lay everything down in my life and it was joyful. It took a pressure off of me to conform and be active to a place of rest and total reliance of letting God guide my day. I left it in His hands and He knew exactly what I needed, how much I could handle for the day, and who to bring into my life. I began to trust God in a way I had never trusted before. I no longer felt so much responsibility to work and do for God, but started realizing it was a partnership. It was about me working with Him and letting him be my guide, instead of the pressures of my flesh and the world around me driving me. Yes, I found some happiness with letting my flesh lead the way and making time for God; but when I laid it all down completely, and just stayed still until all the noise of the daily pressures fell away, I found the true meaning of “BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD”. I found I was overburdened with false responsibility; I was going down a path that no longer served what my spirit needed.
The pressure and judgement that drive us can be so consuming and block out the voice of God in our lives. Have you ever heard of fasting? Well, when I sit back and recall the last year that word came up so many times. I was so busy that I ignored it. I will do that later. I will use that as a last resort. In the end that is exactly what happened. I ended up fasting from all the activities in my life. Some temporary fasting and some permanent while I healed. The only time I have, is time to pray and seek Gods help and guidance. A break from all the noise. A time to quiet the chaos in my mind and pressures of life. Time to just rely and listen to God! That was exactly what I needed. With the noise gone a joy started filling my soul like never before. I can’t remember when I last felt this satisfaction, this peace. Today, I can see how the pressures of this world have driven my actions. It doesn’t mean that I am not still battling my fleshly desires to conform; but I am able to see it more clearly and intercede with a cry out to God. Daily surrender is starting to come more of a habit, and joy and peace or its companions. I don’t know what tomorrow holds or the next week. What I do know is if God is guiding me then it will all be okay!
Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: Joel 2:12
In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory. Ephesians 1:11, 13, 17
And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. Romans 8:17
To inherit and be an heir. To allot and assign. A recipient, a successor, a beneficiary. These words hold the promise of something to come. Something that will be given.
As an earthly child it means to be given of earthly things, material objects. Given wealth of assets and money. Given of title and position in the family line. These things also hold the promise of something negative. Promises of not being acknowledged at ones passing, as one not worthy of love or acceptance. Left out and not deserving of another’s wealth that would help with financial burdens. Being disregarded like a servant and not counted as one of the family or someone respected and loved. Living under a love that has conditions in order to receive.
Yet, with God we have an inheritance that has no conditions. It is one that is less traditional and full of hope and promise. Promises that have no negative sides. Most exciting is the promise of 2 types of inheritance. Things we obtain when we finish our course and meet the Lord face to face; but also things we will inherit here on earth as believers in God. These things are not material, but spiritual that can affect our lives positively in emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical ways. What a great God we serve! So, what are these things you ask, and how does God see us when we inherit his valuable assets.
God sees us as joint heirs with His son. He sees us as the promised heir. Promises that he guarantees because of His love, fairness, and truth. An inheritance in heavenly places includes Promises of a mansion in heaven that Jesus is preparing for us (John 14:16-18). Promise of reunion with saved loved ones we have already lost from this world (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18). Promise of a life in heaven with no more tears, suffering, or sorrow (Revelations 21:4). Promise of a life in heaven with Him. Promises of rewards for our growth in knowing him and acting it out (Matthew 6:19-20). An inheritance of protection from hell as an eternal resting place. Then he gives us an inheritance as believers on earth. Not that we deserve it, but because of His love for us! He Promises we will have Him, God, as our counselor (Hebrews 6:17). Promise that he will never leave us or forsake us. Promise we can find refuge and strength in Him (Psalm 91). He gave us the seal and promise of the comforter the Holy Spirit( John 14:16-18). He promised to listen to our prayers and do what it best for us (John 14:12-15). He promised an agape love, like we have never known from anyone or anything in this world (John 3:16). He gave us his word, the Bible, as an inheritance to get to know Him better and to have a relationship with him (Psalm 119:105)!
God sees us as the promised heirs of all that he has made, all that he has designed, all that he has to give. It is ours and He can’t wait to share it all with us!
Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, Ephesians 1:5
But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law, to redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons. And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father. Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ. Galatians 4:4-7
To be adopted. For some reason I am struggling to paint this picture today. This is the 3rd draft I have written over many days of praying. So many ways to explain, yet which one is the way the Holy Spirit will speak to your heart. That is not for me to decide, but for him. This is where he led me in my thoughts…
Can you imagine in your mind what it means to be adopted? There are many out there this morning who have been through this process and the joy and struggles it has influenced their lives emotionally, physically, and mentally. For me, I think of the many questions of who wants me? How do I prove myself worthy to be accepted? Am I the right color, sex, personality? Once I am accepted as adequate will I fit in? Will I be cared for, clothed, and taken care of? Will I find safety with my new family? I can’t imagine being in this position. Not many people know this, but I have an adopted sister. My parents adopted her when she was 3 years old. Her great grandmother was raising her and it was more than she could handle and she needed help. After being considered by a couple other families and moved around. My sister came to live and was accepted by my family. The process was long and drawn out. My sister only being 3 didn’t know or understand. She was just in survival mode looking for acceptance and a place to call home.
As sinners lost in this world, I believe that’s how we often feel. I remember before I accepted Christ not just as my savior, but also as the Lord of my life. I was wandering around in survival mode. Looking for acceptance in all the wrong places. Never feeling like I belonged. I was always wondering if I was good enough. Struggling to feel safe. Then I was introduced to this man who did things in an unconventional way. It made me question him and what he stood for, but I also found him to be warmly intriguing. A sense of safety and peace surrounded him; but the most peculiar thing about him was the backward way of his adoption plan.
Instead of me standing in a lineup with other sinners being subjected to judgement and scrutiny, waiting to be chosen. This man was in a lineup with all the avenues of the world. The avenues of what I could be adopted into came in the forms. Relationships, friendships, religion, fame, wealth, community, fads, and social groups. All standing in a line looking bold, beautiful and so enticing with their promises. Then this one small, yet humble person calmly standing and patiently waiting. Every time I accepted one of the other avenues to be adopted in and it don’t work out, I would come back to this line and there he was. Humble, quiet, and peacefully still waiting.
It wasn’t about him choosing me because he would adopt anyone who wanted to be adopted by him. It was about me accepting what he had to offer. His adoption plan wasn’t a temporary one like all the others. It was a permanent one. It was a blind-faith kind of adoption full of love and promise. Yes, it was scary; it was not popular, it was different, it was not as appealing and full of instant gratification as all the other avenues. I needed to feel acceptance now; I didn’t have time to wait. I didn’t want to have to put much effort or time in learning more knowledge about this man, or committing to spending time with him. This is what my body was screaming at me. I had to override that need of “give it to me now” and step into the promise of “slow and steady”. When I accepted the offer that Jesus was giving a whole new world opened up to me. It was in slow motion, but this is what I found.
I found myself adopted into Jesus family. His family was not about singing papers or initiation ceremony. It was a washing and cleansing with blood. Not just any blood, but his blood. The blood of Jesus Christ a free gift. Here I stood as an earthly child covered in the blood of Jesus sacrifice and forgiveness. Blood that was shed freely on the cross had been collected and now used to cover over all souls that accepted and believe in him. This blood is perfect. It wipes away all things negative. No more sin, shame, guilt, ugliness, or scars. All of these things are completely gone and what stands before Him is a child adopted by Jesus and given the same spirit of his son into our hearts. God no longer sees a wanderer looking for a place to belong, but sees his child when he looks at us. Perfect, without blemish. Washed in the power of the blood and part of his family.
Jesus accepted me just as I was no matter who I was, where I came from, what color or sex I was. Most important to me was no matter what I had ever done or what others thought of me this person wanted me. He didn’t just want me; he wanted a relationship with me. He wanted to get to know me. To supply me with all my hearts desires. To love me in a way I had never been loved before. He wanted me to never have to worry about tomorrow, what I was gonna eat next, or whether there would be clothes or a roof over my head. This spirit of his son in my heart let me be forgiven of all my wrong doings and made me clean as the day I was born. God sees his child when he sees me! Oh how blessed and undeserving we are to be given another chance to be born again clean!
But we are bound to give thanks alway to God for you, brethren beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth: 2 Thessalonians 2:13
According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Ephesians 1:4
But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light; 1 Peter 2:9
When I think of being “chosen” I am brought back to the days of a school yard lineup. During recess a group of us who wanted to play baseball would line up. We would choose 2 people to be captains of a team and from there they would take turns choosing from the rest of the group who they wanted to be on their team. One by one names would be called as the captains picked, who they thought were, the best players first. As I stood in line waiting to be chosen, I would pray not to be last. Because last meant you were not qualified to be on a team. Last meant you were just a body to take up space in the outfield. In the outfield the only action you could count on was the fly balls or ground balls that only required catching, running and throwing. Every opportunity you get to catch a ball was a new chance to prove you belonged in the infield. Once you belonged in the infield you could move up in the lineup. The hopes of being chosen first was closer than before. The “in” crowd where most all the action took place and to feel worthy was the goal. Every missed attempt to catch that ball and get it where it needed to go in a timely manner just proved you still belonged where you were. The outside looking in.
If I was to apply that reasoning to being chosen by God then it brings a sense of sadness. Who am I to be chosen. What do I have to do to be considered worthy of God? Does God pick out who is worthy to be saved and who is not? The fact is chosen means something different in the Biblical sense. Chosen in the Bible sense means elect. Not elected as in voted into office, but elect as part of a group. What group is that you ask? The group who has personally “chosen” themselves to accept, believe, and follow Christ. Once you decide on your own with free choice, you are considered the chosen. Part of the elect group that is a part of Gods family. It isn’t about standing on the sidelines waiting to get chosen, or standing in the outfield waiting to prove you are worthy with the next fly ball that comes your way. Gods elect is anyone who has chosen to enter the field of their own accord. Regardless of who they are, where they came from, and what abilities they have. All of this comes together because you personally chose to enter the field and become a part of the team called THE ELECT. What I love the most about this is the view God has from the owner’s box in the stadium.
As God looks down into the stadium, he sees all the souls that have chosen to enter the field. He sees a group of souls that he adored when they were first designed in their mother’s womb. They entered the field on their own free will to chose Him. The team isn’t there because they were forced or dragged in, but from their own choosing they decided to believe in Him. To trust in the Owner of this team. To live with Him forever. To grow with Him. To learn more about Him. To pursue a personal relationship with Him. To face battles together, not only with The Owner, but with a group of believers with one common purpose and goal. God is looking down on a group of Souls that have left their sinful nature they were born into, to conquer life with Him. You chose Him and He is standing there in the owner’s box with overwhelming joy. Joy in your choice, joy in who you are and who you have chosen to be. Joy in the relationship that will come and grow stronger over time. He sees your future and your hope. He sees someone who he has something in common with. Someone to spend eternity with. He sees a family like He never had before. A family that chose Him! He sees you!!
I am sorry I have been MIA for the last month or so. I’ve been struggling with a lot going on personally that I have been dealing with. Back in August, I started out with a 21-day post of who does God say I am. The more I got digging the more things came to light in my own life. I became foggy headed and not able to focus. When this happens, I know that I need to take a step back and wait on the Lord to direct me. Sometimes I may only have to wait a few hours, or days. This time it took much longer. The Holy Spirit slowly helped me see some truths. So, we are going to start over from the beginning on “Who does God says I am?” or better yet… “God says I am _________”.
When I first started this, I went to Pinterest and printed out a list of who God says I am that had a Bible verse for each word. As I began studying, the Holy Spirit did not speak to me through the verses that were given. The verses didn’t line up to a foundational teaching of Who God says I am, but rather verses that just included those words. It was confusing and left me feeling foggy and confused. I decided to stop blogging and truly take the time to search out this information with guidance from the Holy Spirit. So, if you have your Bible, please take it out and mark this passage so you can return to it and do your own study on it. Ephesians chapter 1.
What most amazed me was that I left this study to look at another I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to and they both intertwined. I did not realize this until I started writing this blog today! God was working in me this whole past 2 months in my study time and I didn’t even know it. God works even when you cannot grasp or understand it. That awe that comes when we see it, is Gods way of showing us He is there and it isn’t just by chance or mistake, but part of his divine plan for us!
1 Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, to the saints which are at Ephesus, and to the faithful in Christ Jesus:
2 Grace be to you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:
4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:
5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,
6 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
7 In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;
8 Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence;
9 Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself:
10 That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him:
11 In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:
12 That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ.
13 In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,
14 Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.
Within this chapter we find who we are in Christ. How God sees us “sealed with that holy Spirit of promise.” Whether we are Jewish or gentiles, if you acknowledged your sinful state, believe in him and confess it to the Lord in prayer; then you are sealed. Once sealed you are then seen as the following…
Blessed, chosen, holy and without blame, adopted, accepted, redemption, forgiven, ability for wisdom and prudence, an heir, predestined, and sealed. As we move forward let’s take a look and break down each word God says about us. We will search the truth in Gods word and find out truly How God sees us. In knowing how God sees us, I pray it will bring you to a place of joy and confidence and silence the doubt we struggle with in our minds every day! Let’s get started!
These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. John15:1-11
Well, I can tell you right now, that joyful is not something my family would say that I am. I don’t even think God is looking at me right now and seeing anything joyful about me! The mundane routine of everyday life often leaves me in a sad state. Conjuring up joy seems to take so much effort and a lot of money these days. Everything cost and the goal to being joyful can only happen outside of my circumstances, or doing things that produce those joyful endorphins, right? What does God see in me that is joyful? Because, I don’t feel it!
Did you know there are 187 verses in the Bible that include the word joy? When reading over each one, I found that 95% of them talked about lifting up our voices with joy. That makes sense to me, because when I am full of joy my first instinct is to sing. My heart is so full that my body just automatically breaks out into song. Not always in tune or with much grace, but it’s almost like I cannot help it. One definition of joy in the Hebrew language means blithesomeness. Say that 3 times real fast. What in the world does blithesomeness mean? Well according to https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/blithesome it means to be so lighthearted that you don’t have a care or worry in the world! Wow! What would that be like to not have a care in the world? Most importantly, how can I obtain that?
In Nehemiah there is a verse that keeps coming to my mind when I think about joy. It’s a verse that is sewn into a quilt my sister-in-law made for me. Nehemiah 8:10… for the joy of the Lord is your strength. This definition of joy means to rejoice. The rejoicing of the Lord is my strength. So, if I was to take these two verses and their meaning and put them together, this is what it would say…
To obtain the joy of blithesomeness and not have a care in the world, I need to take time rejoicing in who God is and what he has done for me. In return it will give me strength. It will not just give me strength; it will sustain my strength! God also gives us the promise in Psalm 30:5For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy (a shrill cry) cometh in the morning. We will have moments of sorrow, moments of dealing with Gods anger over our sin, but as believers in him, we are favored (accepted) and he finds pleasure in us. This pleasure sustains us and carries us to a place of life. Not life on earth, but life in heaven! What I also love about this is the promise that joy always follows sorrow! Always! It may not seem like the sorrow will end or the plucking away of the dead branches in our lives will every cease, but God promises it will!
Am I joyful? Yes, because today I am going to meditate on all that God has done for me, all that he has brought me through and all that he continues to promise to accomplish in me! Mostly I am going to concentrate on the love He has for me and shows me as I wake up everyday to a fresh start! That makes me joyful! And keeping my faith and trust in Him makes Him delight in Me!
He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me. The Lord rewarded me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands hath he recompensed me. For I have kept the ways of the Lord, and have not wickedly departed from my God. For all his judgments were before me, and I did not put away his statutes from me. I was also upright before him, and I kept myself from mine iniquity. Psalm 18:19-23
Most people know that I live on a farm. Everyday you never know what will transpire. Every animal has its own sort of personality. Babies come in the spring time, new kinds of animals are added occasionally, and mishaps are bound to happen. With mishaps there is usually an animal involved that has a lot of personality or stubbornness. One particular animal comes to my mind and that is Wild Bill. Wild Bill is a fairly new addition to the farm. He is a goat. I have been after my husband to add a goat or two to our farm family to help keep the briars and shrubs down in the sheep pasture, as the sheep are not so fond of them. I was thinking of a couple of pigmy goats. There are small and cute and the grandbaby and neighborhood kids would love them. They could interact with them and pet on them and it would be so great! Then I got a call one day from the hubs and he said, “I found you a goat, we are going to pick him up this weekend.” To say I was tickled to death is an understatement. I just knew that I had lost this battle with my hubs over getting a goat. “I hate goats,” he often would say. “They are nothing but trouble.” Well in my mind, I was thinking of those cute goats at the petting zoo and how friendly and easy going they seem to be and couldn’t see what the fuss was all about. Then we got Bill. Wild Bill that is! On the first day home we kept wild bill in the barn within the sheep pasture. We do this with all our new animals when we first get them home. We put them in a safe space to calm down, relax, and get used to their new environment and get used to us as well. Then once they are calmer, we will turn them out. By then they are just so glad to be out with other animals, they tend to join in without complaint and we don’t have to worry about them running off! But then we have wild bill. Wild bill has a unique personality. You know the one animal that looks at you sideways when he sees you. You wish you could figure out what he is thinking. With every step you make towards him he steps back one. Every now and then you may get close enough to see his eye color, but that is about as close as you will get. But the one thing I did not count on with wild bill, is his fleshly desire for shrubbery. I knew goats liked shrubs, grass, weeds, trees, and everything green. Yet, wild bill has an over zealous desire for shrubs. Not just any kind of shrubs, but the ones that can only be found on the other side of the fence.
Now, I know what you are thinking. I bet wild bill won’t stay in the fence. Well, that is part of it. You see wild bill will partially stay in the fence while the rest of him is outside the fence eating shrubs. To paint a picture for you let me explain it like this. In our sheep pasture we have a woven wire fence that goes all around it. Woven wire is made into small squares. This fence is to keep predators out. To protect the sheep. Well, as the sheep put their heads within those squares often to reach the greener grass on the other side, they have no horns to get stuck and they can do it without issue. When wild bill does it, he gets his head stuck because of his horns and in a fit of wanting to get his head back in the fenced area, he begins to scream and cry with abandoned for help. A cry we hear all day long as we continually over and over again to rescue wild bill from the trap of the fence. On an average day we would have to go out there and get him unstuck 3 to 5 times a day. No matter how much time he spends stuck and how much he agonizes over the situation, he continues to do it again and again. He never learns. So, my genius hubs, who is the farmer and I am just the farmers wife, has a solution to the problem. He takes a blue pipe, and tapes it to wild bills horns and gives him a crown fit for a pasture king. With this crown being wider than the holes in the fence, wild bill can remain stuck free. His internal desires for greener shrubbery become a distant action and his mind concentrates on what is in front of him and not on the other side of the fence. A crown of humility, yet a saving grace! As, wild bill lost his beautiful crown the other day and I raced to free him again and again, it reminded me of my own fleshly desires and what lengths God goes to not only heed my cry, but protect me from making the same choice over and over again.
Just as wild bill has the fleshly desire for things outside of his circumstance, we as human have those same desire. We each have things we desire that are honest and pure, but we each also have things we desire that are not so honest and pure. These things usually are not good for us. They can distract us from our daily lives, pull us in a direction that is away from Gods will for our lives, and keep us from growing in our daily walk with God. Fleshly desires also keep non-believers from choosing to follow Christ. Their desire to stay with what feels good to them often overclouds the rational mind of what it may be doing to their soul. We live in a society now that caters to instant gratification. The standard of this life, as a whole society, is to look down our noses at people who do not accept the desire of the flesh as a guide to live this life. I was born this way, life is not fair, God does not care because he won’t deliver me. All these statements have become excuses for us to live by our desire and not by the rationality of what our desires can do to us. The time has come that we all must acknowledge this and make a choice to stand for something. To stand firm with what we know is true or give in to our fleshly desires.
I struggle everyday with the desire to stay in my dream world or get up and face reality. For years I would spend it in this dream world sleeping my life away. It brought me good endorphins and wrapped me in a fuzzy blanket of blissfulness. Anytime during the day when reality became too hard, I would whisk myself away in my mind to that far away dream land for a moment of bliss. My fleshly desire to not deal with reality and hard times, left me in this constant state of fleshly desire. It became like an addiction to me. Something to always fall back on so I would not have to face the reality of my circumstances. Until one day, I got deeper and deeper that my dream world could not rescue me anymore. You see, that dream world and that fleshly desire can only serve me for a little while. Then the reality of life has to take over at some time and I have to face the choices I have made. I have to accept my life as it is and acknowledge my fleshly desire, and face it head on. With doing this I can change and grow, and learn how to cope with life in a healthy manner that lines up to my core beliefs. When I fail to acknowledge it my heart and mind become overtaken with my desires and resentment, hate, selfishness take over and there is no place for anything else. It becomes a lifestyle that leads away from truth and surrounds me with the blindness of the lies of my desires.
Just as Wild Bill continues to let himself be consumed with his fleshly desires; he has a farmer father that comes to the rescue. He tries to protect him. He places a crown on his head that others deem as inhumane, yet the ultimate goal is for his safety and protection. You too may be one of those that often lets your desires carry you away to places and circumstances that hinder you from growth. You have a heavenly father that may give you a crown, or a thorn in the flesh to keep you from going back to those dark places that will leave you trapped and empty. Are you gonna claim God as not being fair, as not caring, or are you going to see the truth of the matter and humble yourself to admit your fleshly desires?
Its time we each get off the couch, stop making excuses, and get busy growing in our faith. Start reading our Bibles more, get back in church, get back to fellowshipping with other Christians, continue to stand for what is right in Gods eyes and not conform to our own selfishness and fleshly desires! Without this, our children have no hope! So, parents give them a foundation they can stand on that will stand the tests of life. It may be hard at times to follow but, in the end, it will give them a chance to live victoriously and full of hope!
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. Galatians 5:16-17
by keri payne 