Bitterness has been the root of all my problems lately. I knew that I was upset, but I didn’t give credit to how deep the upset was. I began snapping at others, short tempered, inpatient, lack of understanding and especially a big dose of selfishness to go along with it. What I struggled with most was how to move past the bitterness into peace. I will tell you it took time and prayer. It tries to show its ugly head from time to time. Even today it will be a struggle to let go, and find peace within the circumstance. Yet, I will go through the process in my mind that brought me to a calming solution, and this is what it is.
- To recognize you are bitter. The first step to heal from anything is to acknowledge and be honest. Name it, call it out, and put it in its rightful place as something that is stealing your joy. Psalm 51:3
- What are you bitter about? Put a name to what it making you bitter. Was it something someone said or did, or a lack of acknowledgement? Bitterness starts from being angry. Anger is a powerful emotion that can have great power in your life. I don’t have to explain what anger can do; I am sure you are all well aware of it. Even Jesus experienced anger when he was here on earth. Mark 3:5
- Say out loud what it is doing to you. With bitterness, it can not only steal your joy, but it can make you feel like you are not worthy or important. It can make you feel like your voice is not heard. Like you have been used and discarded. Rejected. It can be a lonely place to be, and also bring bouts of fear. Fear to speak up, or speak out. Or it could stem from a place of selfishness. What will others think, what are others gonna say, why can’t they see what they are doing with their actions?
- Now, pray. Pray specifically for the situation. Ask for guidance, wisdom, clarity, humility, and the power to move forward. The power of prayer is stronger than any of us can imagine! Matthew 26:53
- Let go of the bitterness. How? First, acknowledge the other person is a growing person. They may not have the spiritual maturity yet to handle the situation in a peaceful manner. Everyone is dealing with their own fleshly nature. They may have their own focus, passions, and desires that are overriding the situation. But so do you! Acknowledge the place you are both in and see if a common ground can be found.
- Communicate. Once you know what it is that is causing this bitterness, you may need to reach out and have a heartfelt conversation with the other person. Be honest about how you are feeling, but do it with love and not with anger. Be angry, but sin not. This means its okay to be angry, but don’t let it overcome you to the point you act out in a sinful nature. Act out with love.
- But God, let God work in the situation. Ask for his forgiveness. Sometimes it takes time for others to grow, when this happens, we may need to put up boundaries, or take a step back. But if you are doing that communicate that to the other person. This is out of respect and love. Or, it may be something that is completely out of your control. Grieve, let the emotions out that have embodied you for so long. God understands, just don’t let your grief move into a state of constant self-pity. In this instance you must turn to God and trust he has an outcome far better for you than you can conjure. To let go of what once was, and look to Gods plan and not our own.
Today, I am going through these steps. Landing on the peace of knowing that God knows what is best for me and He has a plan. I trust that he knows and desires my happiness. In so doing I need to let him take the lead. Now this won’t be easy! Its gonna be very hard! The bitterness may creep in again when I least expect it, but I will go back through the motions and thought process that brings trust in God. When I trust in Him to be in charge then peace is always right behind.
by keri payne 