I woke up today feeling well rested and blessed for the day before me. I said my morning prayers and somewhere in the midst my mind started to wander. My mind often wanders. Its my struggle that I deal with, especially during prayer time. As my mind began wandering, I started thinking about the day ahead. The things I hoped to get done. The feelings of joy that come with some of the activities, began to wash over me. The more I thought about what I was going to do, the more oppressed I became. The joy started to fade quickly and an overwhelming sense of dread started to creep in. Those things that I enjoy doing became more of a list I will never get done. Before I knew it, I was neck deep in a mind full of task I could not get completed. A sense of failure came over me and the day looked depressing and lonely. I did it again! I told myself I would not do this and here I am drowning in the pressure to get everything done today and feeling hopeless. I was stuck! Stuck in my mind of this cycle of dread. Every time I tried to bring my mind back to the moment it would wander back to the list of things to do. It was at the forefront of my mind and it was not budging. I had to break this cycle of thoughts! I had to get a break from the noise!
I remembered hearing a quote the day before and an idea came to mind! That would be a great meditation exercise to reset my mind. To bring my focus back on the things that God wants me to do today and not on the list of tasks to complete. The thought was, “being in the circle of God.” What does that look like? Well let’s paint the picture and find out and see how it develops.
I will play this on a podcast so you can close your eyes and just follow along, but if you don’t have access to the podcast then I will picture it in words as you read.
“Standing in the presence of God”
I walk up to the gates of what looks like an arena. There are two angels standing on either side of the gate entrance. Their wings are bigger than they are and pointed at the top as they slightly bow forward a foot above their heads. Their halos are iridescent. As they turn their heads you can get a glimpse of the shimmer that the halo is there. The halo is not meant to draw attention or mark any significance in their stature. It’s just a small glow to let you know who they are. The sense of who they are brings you peace, but what really makes you relax is the look on their faces. Their faces are white with a hint of pigment. So soft and smooth without blemish. Their eyes are kind and their lips are small, yet the warmth of a smile seems to be their constant facial expression. The look they give you is so warm and inviting it gives you a sense of peace. A peace that says you belong here, you are safe here, you can rest here for awhile and nothing else matters as much as this moment in time. Their arms outstretch and beckon you to enter the gate of the arena. As you step forward you see the arena has no top and a light so bright and beautiful radiates out the top in all directions. It gives off a sense of power, yet not a power to fear, but a power that brings on a sense of awe and respect. That this place is reverent. Holy. Worthy of respect, and worthy of you to enter. As you walk through the gates, the gates remain open behind you. Your eyes travel around to get the lay of the land. An arena about 30 ft in height and 30 ft in diameter surround you. The base of the arena is a circle surrounded by a wall about 6 ft high. Above that 6ft wall is a ledge where there are seats. Only one row of seats surrounds the arena. These seats are seats like you have never seen before. They have tall backs with arms. They look comfortable yet very prestigious. Almost like those chairs you see at the front of the church for the pastor, but as you look closer, they are made of carved wood with beautiful designs and gems and crystals of all kinds are imbedded in the back, arms and legs of each chair. Each with their own unique design and flare. They have a cushion in the seat area that looks soft and inviting. The color of the cushions is a color never seen before by man. As you look around again you notice the seats are full. Full of men and women. You don’t know how you know this, but you know each and every person sitting in them. Moses, Enoch, and Noah are on your left side. Along with Esther, Deborah, and Bathsheba. On the other side is Peter, David and Paul, as well as Jonah, John the Baptist, and Mary the mother of Jesus. The stories of each person flash before your eyes and gives you a sense that you know these people. They are talking among themselves and smiling down on you. There are many more there you know, but you concentrate on the feeling it brings you to be in their Prescence. A feeling that you have always known these people comes over you and feel like you belong and are among kindred spirits. Then very softly there is a voice that comes from above and says, “Welcome to the circle of God’s love.” Everyone goes quiet and the look of anticipation comes over their faces. The look of love and respect, yet a look that says they feel blessed to be there in that moment. All their eyes turn and focus to the end of the area that it straight ahead of you. Opposite from the gate where I came in. You notice then there is a throne like you have never seen. It is so much bigger than all the other chairs in the arena. It is made of pure gold and is exquisite in design and size. To the right-hand side, your left, is another chair the same size as all the rest yet made of gold like the large throne. A man walks up and sits in the chair. He has a smile on his face so big. He looks like he is trying to reign in his excitement he is so happy. He continues to smile at you and your level of comfort and ease takes on a whole new level. You are wanted here. You belong here. You are worthy to be here. Then with a sound of trumpets everyone stands up and a pillar of light comes in from behind the throne and sits. Everyone sits after he does and the excitement in the room is contagious. Everyone is happy, every one is excited, but what comes across in their body language is this is their favorite time and place to be. What comes next is so amazing that it brings joy to the bystanders that are watching from above.
The white pillar of glowing light sits warmly in the throne and a sense of warmth comes over you. It starts in your heart and slowly spreads out into the limbs of your body. Your chest gets warm then your stomach, your neck and pelvis, your arms, legs, and finally your head. They are filled with a warmth that can only be described as a deep sense of love. A love so deep you feel a freedom that is indescribable. No guilt, no shame, no pain exists here. You feel light as air, as almost you are floating above the floor of the arena. Nothing else matters, but this moment. Then the white pillar leans forward and his face becomes clear. A face so calming and serene a tear comes to your eyes. All the thoughts and fears you ever had slowly slip away as you focus on this man, this God in front of you. Your God. His eyes are full of acceptance, his posture is full of care and concern. The realization of being in God’s presence causes the tears to fall freely. As your tears fall, you feel a sense of relief. A sense of calmness, a sense of belonging. The God before you says, “welcome my child.” Sitting next to him on the right side in the similar throne is Jesus. You didn’t recognize him before, but you do now. With every tear you cry, he is crying too. As you look down, a band of angles surrounds you with bottles, catching your tears as they fall. You look to David and he has a look on his face that says, “see, I told ya.” A family. A deep sense of family comes over you and that is what consumes you. All these people are like family and you belong to them and they to you. This is a safe place, your place. Your focus comes back to God and he is smiling down on you as you take it all in. He can see your thoughts and feel your emotions. He is patient and kind and is in no hurry as you absorb the magnitude of your circumstance. Then he speaks calmly and with such grace and love, another tear falls to the angels with their bottles. “Welcome to my circle of love, my beloved child. I am so happy you are here. This circle represents the deepest aspects of my love. These people here are all recipients of my love. They each have received love from me in different ways, and in different parts of their life. The stories of my love for them I have given to you to bring comfort, joy, and peace to know there is no depth I will not go to make sure you know that I love you. Also, for you to know in all things I will forgive you, comfort you, grow you, and strengthen you. My child, you are so important to me, and I cherish the time we spend together in pray and in my words. Today, this day, is not just your day, it is not just your pressure, it is ours. I am with you where ever you go. I am there to share your load, I am there to help guide you and choose a path, I am there to hold you up when you feel weak, and I am there to guard and protect you when things in life come at you that may be too much. Today, I promise to love you no matter what comes, I promise to love you no matter how much you accomplish. My darling child, today is just a day. Tomorrow will come and the day after that. There is plenty of time to get things done. There is plenty of opportunity to get things accomplished. Today, whatever we do together will be enough. Today, just you being present with me is enough. Today I want you to know, I am with you. Today, I want you to know I care for what you care for, I feel for what you feel for. Today, you are enough and whatever you can give is enough. My dearest child, I got you! I have your time, I have your task, I have your responsibilities and I have your worries and fears. Today I want you to know I will make sure you get it all done, because in my time it is enough. Today, just take one step in front of the other and I will be there to show you, guide you, and give you peace to know together we are enough.”
Now open your eyes. Do you feel the presence of God? He is with you, he will guide your next move, he will help you through this day. Now you just take a step and see what adventure He has in stored and not what your mind tells you must be done.
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